The Power of Positivity in Words and Actions

Compliments have an incredible impact on our emotional well-being. When someone says something kind or uplifting, it often brightens our mood, boosts our confidence, and strengthens our connection with that person. Conversely, unkind or critical words can make us feel small, hurt, or defensive. But why do we react so strongly to these interactions?

The Science of Positivity and Negativity in the Brain

Neuroscience provides fascinating insights into this dynamic. According to Dr. Richard and Judith Glasser of The Creating WE Institute, when we encounter criticism, rejection, or fear, our brains release cortisol, the "stress hormone." Cortisol is part of our fight-or-flight response system, which prepares us to face threats. However, in modern social contexts, this response can feel overwhelming and counterproductive, shutting down our reasoning abilities and potentially leading to feelings of helplessness or submission.

On the other hand, when we experience kindness, compliments, or supportive conversations, our brains release oxytocin, often referred to as the "love hormone." Oxytocin is associated with feelings of trust, connection, and collaboration, fostering a sense of safety and optimism. However, there’s a catch: oxytocin's effects, though uplifting, are fleeting because it metabolizes more quickly than cortisol. This means that while negativity lingers, positivity requires sustained effort to have a lasting impact.

The Rule of Seven Positives

Research suggests that it takes about seven positive interactions to counterbalance the effect of one negative experience. This emphasizes the importance of creating a culture of frequent positive reinforcement—not only to build relationships but also to maintain mental and emotional well-being.

Embracing Positivity as a New Year’s Resolution

This year, consider making positivity a cornerstone of your resolutions. Here are some ideas to inspire your journey:

• Resolution #1: Practice "The Rule of Seven" by aiming for seven positive interactions for every negative one.

• Resolution #2: Start a gratitude journal to reflect on the positive moments and compliments you give and receive.

• Resolution #3: Learn how to deliver feedback in a constructive, positive way to preserve relationships while fostering growth.

  
  

Real-Life Examples and Applications

1. In Personal Relationships: Think about the last time you received a heartfelt compliment from a loved one. Perhaps they praised your cooking, thanked you for your support, or admired your creativity. How did it make you feel? Now contrast that with a time when you faced criticism, even if constructive. The difference in your emotional response likely illustrates the imbalance between positive and negative experiences.

   
   

   Resolution Idea: Make it a habit to give genuine compliments daily. For example:

   • Tell your partner, "I love how thoughtful you are about planning our weekends."

   • Thank a friend by saying, "You always know how to cheer me up."

   
   

2. In the Workplace: A manager who provides recognition for employees' contributions fosters higher morale and trust among the team. Studies show that employees who feel valued are more engaged, productive, and loyal to their organizations. Conversely, workplaces where criticism outweighs praise often experience higher turnover and lower job satisfaction.

   
   

   Resolution Idea:As a leader or colleague, aim to acknowledge strengths before offering critiques. For instance:

   • "I really appreciate the effort you put into this report—it’s clear and thorough. One thing we could tweak for next time is [specific feedback]."

     
     

3. In Everyday Encounters: A kind word to a stranger can ripple far beyond the initial exchange. Compliment a cashier's efficiency, a friend's sense of style, or a neighbor's garden. Even small gestures of positivity can brighten someone's day.

   
   

   Resolution Idea: Commit to giving at least one compliment a day to someone new. Keep a journal to note how this practice influences your own mood and relationships.

By being mindful of the chemical dynamics in our brains and the lasting power of our words, we can create more uplifting, empowering environments for ourselves and those around us. As the saying goes: "Be the reason someone smiles today."

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