Treating People the Same is a Shame: Why Fairness Requires Awareness

One of the most persistent workplace myths is that treating everyone “the same” makes you a fair leader.

A manager once proudly told me, “I treat everyone the same.”They believed this was a mark of fairness.

But here’s the truth: sameness isn’t fairness. In fact, sameness is often a sign that something important is missing...awareness.

Consider this team:

• One member is a new parent, running on three hours of sleep.

• Another is caring for an aging parent, balancing work and caregiving.

• A third is hungry for more responsibility, eager to step into leadership.

Now imagine giving them all the same deadlines, feedback, and expectations. What happens?

💔 One burns out.

💔 One quietly disengages.

💔 One leaves for an employer who sees their potential.

This is why effective leaders don’t focus on “equal treatment”—they focus on equity.

Equitable leadership means noticing the real, lived differences of your team members. It means adjusting your approach so people can thrive, not just survive. Great leaders don’t water every plant the same; they give each what it needs to grow. 🌱

At Silver Linings International, we help leaders build this kind of awareness through our Trauma-Informed Supervisor Course, Cultivating Emotional Intelligence workshops, and our Trauma Informed Youth Engagement training. These programs go beyond surface-level management skills.

They teach leaders how to:

• Recognize stress and burnout before it becomes costly turnover.

• Balance accountability with compassion.

• Tailor feedback and support to individual strengths and challenges.

• Lead with presence, empathy, and intentionality.

When leaders embrace equity, teams become more resilient, innovative, and engaged. Instead of losing talent, organizations retain and grow it.

👉 So the next time you hear “I treat everyone the same,” ask yourself: Are we being fair—or just being blind to what people truly need?

Have you seen this play out where you work? Share your thoughts—we’d love to hear them.