Living and Leading Inside Dysregulated Systems

Policies change midstream. Funding is approved, paused, cut, then reconsidered. Positions are eliminated while expectations continue to grow.

Language, priorities, and measures of success shift faster than people can realistically adapt.

This constant instability takes a toll. And there is a truth we do not name often enough.

When systems are dysregulated, people become dysregulated.

Stress responses rarely show up quietly or politely. They show up as anger, entitlement, defensiveness, control, blame, short tempers, and sharp words. From the outside, it can look like “people are the problem.”

Sometimes people are part of the challenge. But not because they are incapable or difficult by nature. Because stressed nervous systems respond in predictable, human ways.

What makes this even harder is that we cannot regulate for other people. We cannot control how colleagues, staff, or stakeholders respond under pressure. Yet leaders are often expected to absorb the emotional impact of others’ stress while continuing to manage their own workload, responsibilities, and uncertainty.

Layer on top of that an unstable employment landscape, highly qualified professionals who are unemployed or underemployed, unresolved collective trauma from the COVID years, and relentless change without recovery time. It is a heavy load for any nervous system to carry.

This is why self-care today cannot be reduced to surface-level solutions or checklists. Regulation is not about escape. It is about staying grounded enough that we do not pass our stress on to the people around us. It is about noticing what is happening internally, pausing before reacting, and choosing responses that create steadiness rather than escalation.

In our current Trauma-Informed Supervisors cohort, leaders are practicing how to create psychological safety, set boundaries without harm, and remain regulated in moments when others are not. These are not abstract concepts. They are practical, learnable skills that help teams function more effectively inside imperfect systems.

We may not be able to control other people. We may not be able to stabilize every system we work within. But we can take responsibility for how we show up. And in times like these, that responsibility matters more than ever.