Updated: Apr 5, 2021
Oh do I wish I would have taken a step back from some of those moments where I reacted in anger or fear and I bet you all do too.
The urge to strike out when I feel angry is very natural and we are all hard wired to "fight or flight" in those situations. I tend to engage in both of these natural tendencies, however they don't serve me well in the long run.
I never make good decisions or good assessments of any situation when I am angry or get triggered by something someone says. I see it one way, tunnel vision goggles on!
Then of course, I feel it necessary to take some action to "right the wrong" of course, this is all just in my brain.
The funny thing is that no one can "hear" the kooky conversation the many voices in my head are having before I take action. If you could hear them, you 100% understand why I react the way I do. But you will never know.
But I know.
I have been thinking about this idea of putting myself in a "time in". Putting myself in a "time out" isn't possible..putting someone else in, is so much easier, LOL!
What if I put myself in a "time-in?" I could put an imaginary fence around those voices in my head and schedule a meeting with them to have a calm conversation. I shall give myself a google calendar invite, why not?
I was thinking to myself, sitting down calmly and talking out the issues in a safe environment is what people do to resolve conflicts....listening to each other and finding solutions. That's when it occurred to me that is exactly what I need to do with myself when I am angry...put myself in a "time-in."
Scheduling a time to have the internal conversation is a novel idea. I am full of ideas. Or maybe better yet, schedule a time with a trusted friend to untangle the thoughts and feelings swirling in my brain is another solution! So easy.
I will try this new idea of taking a "time in" while I am in fight or flight mode and let you know how it goes.
Maybe you could try it too and let me know how that works!